did you get engaged???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
