look no pants
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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