Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
