HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
