I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
