Screwed.edu
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
