You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
