Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
