This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
whose parrot is this?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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