dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
