Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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