did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
