im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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