instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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