you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
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I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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