i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
