the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
