I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
