got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
