I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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