And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
