Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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