I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
