Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
