just come out here and I will go home with you...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
