I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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