Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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