Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Panties = found
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
