dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize