if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
