He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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