I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
