Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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