i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
