She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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