google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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