Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
