the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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