Having a random hookup so left but love u
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
