shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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