THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
