When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
