I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
