just tell him i said nine months
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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