I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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