I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
