I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
