It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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