at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize