Do you still have your period?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
