she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
