I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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