should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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