I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
