you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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