i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
