and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
