If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
